So I've seen several people on and off LJ do an accent meme lately; figured if I'm a paid user I might as well make use of voice posts, and what better way to start? The meme is as follows:
“Record aloud the following:
* Your name and/or username * Where you're from * The following words: Aunt, Roof, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting Image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught, Orange, Coffee, direction, naturally, aluminum and herbs * What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house? * What is the bubbly carbonated drink called? * What do you call gym shoes? * What do you say to address a group of people? * What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs? * What do you call your grandparents? * What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket? * What do you call it when rain falls while the sun is shining? * What is the thing you change the TV channel with? * What do you call the bug that rolls up into a ball when you poke it?”
Sometimes, out of nowhere, it strikes me that I'm mortal. I'm gonna die one day, there's no avoiding it. And I think, "What on earth have I been doing with my life? I've done nothing, amounted to nothing." And I get all weepy and suchlike.
And other times, I answer myself. Tonight's answer was, "Well, tomorrow I'm having brunch with my parents. And in the afternoon I'm going to a birthday party for a two-year-old, and I'm going to do my best to make her day. And with any luck I'm going to get my picture taken with her parents while they're both in their fur suits. (Dad is a pink and black female puma, mom is a steampunk tiger/something-else mix breed.) 'Cause even though I'm not a fur myself, I've got no problems/issues with the fact that quite a few of my friends are. And I'm going to eat two types of cake, and blow bubbles in the park--mine are pink!--and, if there is music, I will dance with Kora (the aforementioned birthday girl), which is the rarest of all sights, as I do not dance. And if there is not music, then I will dance with her anyway, 'cause we don't care about that type of thing. And after the party, if there is time, I'm going to hang out with Lee (friend of mine from work). But not too late, 'cause she has to work the truck Monday morning. And it's not going to be the stuff of history books, but it will be an awesome day, and I'll enjoy it. And that's what counts most."
Mind you, my self-answer didn't have all the parentheses. Those are for y'all.
I love it when I finish reading a book, and I get this terrific feeling of... calm. Emptiness, because the book is over now and that really sucks... But calm all the same.
I just finished reading Will Grayson, Will Grayson by John Green & David Levithan, and it was frickin' AMAZING. Hands down one of the best books I've ever read. Stylistically it was perfection; there were passages that were so perfect and true and GOOD that I seriously got teary-eyed; it was entertaining; and the spirit of the book, if you will, just resonated with me.
I plan on writing more about it later, after I get a few paltry hours of sleep and go to work. Realistically, that won't happen. But I really do plan on it.
YuleCon was amazing. I need to figure out how to pull all the pictures I took off of my phone, and into my computer. Grr. Until then, though? Con experience summary!
So. YuleCon was in Fort Worth, TX. It was my first con. And, as you may have gathered from the past few sentences... I loved it. Loved, loved, LOVED. I'm usually a very antsy person when it comes to being around people I don't know. It makes me nervous, on-edge. Being in a new place does the same thing. And I can scarcely sleep with family in the same room as me, let alone strangers. I roomed with eight (yes, 8!) other people, only one of whom I knew: Christina. The others were awesome, though! I think they were all from Lousiana. There were three couples: Nicole and Ducky (wife and husband; not sure what Ducky's real name is); Snow (Dien) and Garrett; and last, but so not least, Jordan and Woosh (Wooj / Warren). Also, there was Gin. My favorites, by far, were Jordan and Woosh, and I honestly miss being around them already. They were such nice little gay boys, and such a cute couple, to boot!
What else... Saw some great cosplay, of course. Fell in love with a band: One-Eyed Doll. I'd heard them before thanks to my friend Rachel, so I kind of liked them going into the con, but now I am madly, madly in love. Best. Band. EVER. Spent way way way too much on their merch, but no regrets! I also managed to get half of my Christmas shopping done at the con, thanks to my family being so nerdy, heh heh.
Wow. I meant to write a real, thought-out entry, but I'm just so exhausted, all I want to do is go read Black Butler for a bit, maybe watch an episode of FMA, and go to sleep. So that's what I'll do. I'll try this again later.
(Lira, if you're reading this: I'm about to go read your con entries, both out of genuine interest in how it went, and in hopes that they shall shame me into doing a proper con entry.)
Tomorrow night I'll be heading towards Dallas and YuleCon. I'm still not particularly excited--I'm just stressed! Hopefully I'll enjoy myself once I'm there. And if not, well... Christina says she doesn't mind if I temporarily ditch her and go hang out with Amanda instead, so I've got options.
I still need to pack, though. And find my parents' GPS, which I'm borrowing. And maybe run by an ATM. Oh, oh, and get my car inspected, and my oil changed... I have no idea when I'm going to have the time for all that! Oi!
In other anime-related news: I've started watching three new series: Angel Beats!, Working!!, and Canaan. I've watched the first episode of each, and I rather like them all. Angel Beats! is amusing, Working!! is downright hilarious (and my favorite of the three so far), and Canaan is really, really pretty. I can't wait 'til I have time to watch more! Next week, I suppose...
It's been forever since I've updated. Sorry about that, I guess.
Living with my parents again, temporarily. Long story short: one of my roommates (Robert) "had to" ditch on us, moved in with his brother in Dallas. Brian and I couldn't afford the rent on the house we were living in by ourselves, so he moved into an apartment. I was stuck footing all of Robert's share of rent and utilities for a two month period, which sucked literally all the money out of both my checking and savings accounts, couldn't afford to move into an apartment, went home to mom and dad instead. And now I'm just trying to make myself move out again, since it's been six months. It's easier said than done, though: if I stay here, they'll pay for grad school for me. If I move out, they won't. Easy choice, right? But I'm too scared to take the GRE and apply for grad school, so I'm just... hanging around. Working two jobs, average 60 hours a week, so no time to study for the math part of the GRE, which sucks.
I don't know.
On top of that, all my friends are either moved away (Amanda to Dallas, my sister to ALASKA!), don't talk to me anymore (which more or less makes them not-friends, right?), or have banded together with each other, leaving me nowhere.
I need to pull myself together and do something, but being tired all the time (thanks to work) has me even more apathetic towards life than I am by nature, and that's saying a lot.
And oddly enough, it's been about six months--half a year--since I last updated my journal. Kinda fits, huh...
Anyways, I've been thinking, and trying not to think, a lot here lately. I don't know quite how I feel about my life. I've accomplished a decent amount in my almost 24 years on this planet. I've made it through countless years of formal education, and finally graduated with my Bachelor's degree in English in December. I've had my job at Target for about two and a half years now, successfully proving to myself that I'm perfectly capable of holding down a steady job, dealing with stress, and learning to perform new tasks. While at said job, I've made a handful of fantastic new friends whom I cherish very much. I've moved out of my parents' house, and though I haven't lived on my own yet, exactly, I've done just fine with roommates. I have a dog, and although I had my doubts about how well I'd take care of her and put up with her, I think I've done well. All in all, I'm pleasantly surprised and pleased with myself.
At the same time, I still have a lot left to accomplish in the near future (and beyond!), and to be perfectly honest, it scares me to death. I need to find the money to go to grad school and get my degree in Library Science. I need to find a new, 'better' job--i.e. something in an area other than retail. I don't know if I'll do that before or after my Master's degree, but I know I'll do it eventually. I'm still trying to decide if I want to live on my own--no roommate, no family, just me and my dog. I feel like I should give it a try just to prove to myself that I can do it. On the other hand, I'm afraid of what I'll morph into, personality-wise, without another person around to keep me in line. By nature, I'm reclusive and self-torturing, and it's only my love for the people I've lived with that's kept me from becoming some sort of angry in-city hermit. Maybe that's not how I'd turn out. Maybe I'd surprise myself yet again and get just that much stronger on my own. But what if I just (figuratively) self-destruct instead? Is it worth risking it this early on? It's not like having a roommate is anything to be ashamed of or anything, especially when one's roommate is one of the people nearest and dearest to one's heart. So... what is there to prove, after all?
I don't know. I think I'm babbling at this point, or getting there at least. The one thing I'm sure of is that I've got a lot more growing up (and a lot more proving myself) left to do. The how of the process is daunting, though.
It's freezing in my room--and in the whole apartment, for that matter--because the heater broke, or killed itself, or something, sometime in the past two days. It's, like, 50 degrees, and I'm a pansy when it comes to being cold, so I'm miserable.
We had a test in my Population and World Culture class today. I thought it was supposed to be on Monday. Oops. *sighs* I know I passed with at least a 60, but I'd really wanted to do well on it! Can't wait to see exactly how I did.
Bobo and I are for sure, without a doubt, getting that house. Bobo has a key now, and I've been in there twice. It's really old and scarred by cigarette smoke, so we'll have to do a lot of cleaning, and we'll have to have it fumigated 'cause nobody's lived there for a year or so, but that's manageable. It's sort of creepy, though. When the fridge comes on, it makes a humming sound, and there's a leak or something, so there's a dripping sound below that... and somewhere in between the two, it sounds like people talking. I thought Bobo had turned on a radio in another room, but he hadn't--the only one was right next to me. SO CREEPY. Maybe I'll get used to it. On a more positive note, I've picked out a color scheme for my room: really pale green, dark green, pink, and creme-ish. It should be pretty. I wonder how much paint costs?
On the Bobo and Thomas front, as concerns my feelings and whatnot from last post... Bobo and I are doing quite well lately, to my surprise. We've laughed and talked together more in the past two or three days than we had in weeks, so that's nice. And a couple of days ago Thomas made a comment that he (Thomas) and I should really only count as one person, and then we'd never have to be apart unless we wanted, or something along those lines. It was really reassuring, and put my mind (almost) to rest. I still have a fair amount of worries, but those are now hinged on the living situation--I'm afraid that during the first two months Bobo and I are in the house--and Thomas won't be able to live there during that time--Thomas will run away or something, and not talk to us anymore. Stupid, paranoid fear, I know it, but there it is. I'm so sadly, stupidly insecure sometimes, it's just pathetic... But at least I'm getting better.
Okay. Time for me to go play some more Rogue Galaxy. It's a PS2 RPG, by the same people that did Dark Cloud, and it's quite fun so far, if not exactly a revolutionary sort of experience. I'm enjoying it, at least.
Hope you're all doing well! And Moth, if you're reading this: early Happy Birthday, just in case I forget to swing by and tell you on the day itself! Love you!