And oddly enough, it's been about six months--half a year--since I last updated my journal. Kinda fits, huh...

Anyways, I've been thinking, and trying not to think, a lot here lately. I don't know quite how I feel about my life. I've accomplished a decent amount in my almost 24 years on this planet. I've made it through countless years of formal education, and finally graduated with my Bachelor's degree in English in December. I've had my job at Target for about two and a half years now, successfully proving to myself that I'm perfectly capable of holding down a steady job, dealing with stress, and learning to perform new tasks. While at said job, I've made a handful of fantastic new friends whom I cherish very much. I've moved out of my parents' house, and though I haven't lived on my own yet, exactly, I've done just fine with roommates. I have a dog, and although I had my doubts about how well I'd take care of her and put up with her, I think I've done well. All in all, I'm pleasantly surprised and pleased with myself.

At the same time, I still have a lot left to accomplish in the near future (and beyond!), and to be perfectly honest, it scares me to death. I need to find the money to go to grad school and get my degree in Library Science. I need to find a new, 'better' job--i.e. something in an area other than retail. I don't know if I'll do that before or after my Master's degree, but I know I'll do it eventually. I'm still trying to decide if I want to live on my own--no roommate, no family, just me and my dog. I feel like I should give it a try just to prove to myself that I can do it. On the other hand, I'm afraid of what I'll morph into, personality-wise, without another person around to keep me in line. By nature, I'm reclusive and self-torturing, and it's only my love for the people I've lived with that's kept me from becoming some sort of angry in-city hermit. Maybe that's not how I'd turn out. Maybe I'd surprise myself yet again and get just that much stronger on my own. But what if I just (figuratively) self-destruct instead? Is it worth risking it this early on? It's not like having a roommate is anything to be ashamed of or anything, especially when one's roommate is one of the people nearest and dearest to one's heart. So... what is there to prove, after all?

I don't know. I think I'm babbling at this point, or getting there at least. The one thing I'm sure of is that I've got a lot more growing up (and a lot more proving myself) left to do. The how of the process is daunting, though.

This is just to let everyone know I'm still alive. I've just been even more boring than usual lately. *shrugs*

Randomly: I LOVE the Iron Man movie!

It's freezing in my room--and in the whole apartment, for that matter--because the heater broke, or killed itself, or something, sometime in the past two days. It's, like, 50 degrees, and I'm a pansy when it comes to being cold, so I'm miserable.

We had a test in my Population and World Culture class today. I thought it was supposed to be on Monday. Oops. *sighs* I know I passed with at least a 60, but I'd really wanted to do well on it! Can't wait to see exactly how I did.

Bobo and I are for sure, without a doubt, getting that house. Bobo has a key now, and I've been in there twice. It's really old and scarred by cigarette smoke, so we'll have to do a lot of cleaning, and we'll have to have it fumigated 'cause nobody's lived there for a year or so, but that's manageable. It's sort of creepy, though. When the fridge comes on, it makes a humming sound, and there's a leak or something, so there's a dripping sound below that... and somewhere in between the two, it sounds like people talking. I thought Bobo had turned on a radio in another room, but he hadn't--the only one was right next to me. SO CREEPY. Maybe I'll get used to it. On a more positive note, I've picked out a color scheme for my room: really pale green, dark green, pink, and creme-ish. It should be pretty. I wonder how much paint costs?

On the Bobo and Thomas front, as concerns my feelings and whatnot from last post... Bobo and I are doing quite well lately, to my surprise. We've laughed and talked together more in the past two or three days than we had in weeks, so that's nice. And a couple of days ago Thomas made a comment that he (Thomas) and I should really only count as one person, and then we'd never have to be apart unless we wanted, or something along those lines. It was really reassuring, and put my mind (almost) to rest. I still have a fair amount of worries, but those are now hinged on the living situation--I'm afraid that during the first two months Bobo and I are in the house--and Thomas won't be able to live there during that time--Thomas will run away or something, and not talk to us anymore. Stupid, paranoid fear, I know it, but there it is. I'm so sadly, stupidly insecure sometimes, it's just pathetic... But at least I'm getting better.

Okay. Time for me to go play some more Rogue Galaxy. It's a PS2 RPG, by the same people that did Dark Cloud, and it's quite fun so far, if not exactly a revolutionary sort of experience. I'm enjoying it, at least.

Hope you're all doing well! And Moth, if you're reading this: early Happy Birthday, just in case I forget to swing by and tell you on the day itself! Love you!

For another update, or so I'd think. Not tons to say, really... Finals are done. Got an A in my Intro Sociology class, which is nice. Not at all confident about my other two soc. classes, but whatever. What's done is done, right? Eh heh.

I threw up blood twice on Friday: once in the morning, and once at night. Not much blood at all, just a teeny bit (the rest was just, like, water or something?), but I'm thinking it's still a bad thing. I don't hurt or anything, so I'm a bit confused. I'll tell Mom about it after work, see if she'll pay for me to go to the clinic about it since I'm broke. I dunno, I'm not too concerned, since this happened a couple of months ago, too, and I've been fine...

That's all, I think. I'm not tired, but I need to go to bed 'cause I have work in... four hours. Ugh. So I'm getting a nap before I go in, really. Bleh.

How's everyone out there doing?

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 80% Superman 70% Robin 57% Green Lantern 55% Catwoman 55% Batman 50% Hulk 45% Wonder Woman 42% Iron Man 35% Supergirl 32% The Flash 30%

You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.

Click here to take the "Which Superhero am I?" quiz...

Sorry to not update my LJ, like, ever... But there's really not a lot to say. I'm liking school and am considering double-majoring in Sociology; I got a sort-of raise/promotion at work; I kind of want to get a tattoo or two; I'm crushing on someone for the first time in years... Okay, there may be a bit to say, but really, who wants details? (That's not a ploy for attention, actually. I really just don't feel like detailing unless someone actually cares to hear more.)

I'm sort-of working on NaNoWriMo this year. Started over only once. Way behind, but actually KIND OF liking what I have so far, which is better than normal.

JES: WE NEED TO HANG OUT!

Konnie: Congrats on the boyfriend. And when you get my friend request on MySpace... pay no attention to the drag makeup, and know that Thomas simply got bored. *shrugs*

How are all of you?

I feel as though I should begin this entry by letting everyone know that I've been a good girl, and I'm back in college this semester. I officially dropped the secondary teaching certification from my degree plan. I'm now an English major, Sociology minor.

The Sociology part really surprised me, too, but I had to pick something. I was halfway to a minor in Journalism, Speech, and (almost) Psychology. All of those subjects either didn't offer anything I needed this semester (Journalism), not enough of the classes I needed (Speech), or were completely full with already ridiculous waitings lists by the time I was advised (Psychology). Dr. Fields told me to think creatively about this, and keep in mind that I could always ask for overrides if need be. I decided that since I absolutely adored the psychology classes I took, and sociology is basically the flip side of psychology (focusing on the group rather than the individual, and external rather than internal motivations and forces), I'd give that a try.

So far I'm okay with it. I'm taking my freshman Intro to Sociology class at the same time as a sophomore level class (Social Problems) and a junior level class (The Family), which is awkward because that means I'm learning the basic terms and theories and such in that first class, and am more or less totally lost in the other too... But that's okay. Dr. Stiles, the professor I have for the two upper-level classes, seems to have faith that I'll be able to pull this off. I'm just going to have to work extra hard, that's all.

Dr. Fields (my advisor) is really pushing me to go to grad school once I graduate. I'm considering it. I think in another week or two I'll go meet with Dr. Johnson--possibly my favorite professor in the English department, if not the whole school, and also the head of the English graduate program--and discuss the matter with him. He's had me in class enough times that he knows what I'm capable of, and I know that he's honest. If he doesn't think that I'll be able to handle grad school, I think he'll let me know. He may not be blunt about it--or he might be, who knows?--but I'll know.

In non-school related news... Thomas was fired from Target last Monday. They said he wasn't being productive enough, but that's utter b.s. He's been getting his team finished with their job (and doing the job properly!) several hours early, multiple days a week, with very few errors. I'd call that productive, wouldn't you? I think that the store manager just had it out for him. It's not paranoia or anything, either--he gets that way with team members sometimes, and just hounds them 'til they leave or whatnot. Thomas's team lead was also not a fan of him personally. Grr. Whatever. It's good that Thomas had just been re-hired at Alberton's. He doesn't get many hours, but at least he's got some form of income until he gets another job to supplement it.

Oh, and Bobo/Brian was mugged yesterday night. He had just finished filling up his gas tank and was about to head to Odds to watch Thomas do a surprise, last-minute performance for Amateur vs Queen night, and some guy shoved him against his Jeep, said he had a gun, and took his money. The gas attendant lady called the cops and came running out with a gun of her own to chase the mugger off, but that still leaves Bobo broke and completely shook up. He'd been jumped in the parking lot of Jalapeno Tree, the restaurant where he works, just last month, and had finally gotten over the incident. (That one wasn't money-based; some redneck just beat him up for being gay and in sight.) Now this happens, he's horribly unhappy, and now refuses to go anywhere by himself. I'm not sure that I blame him. Poor dear.

Uhhm, I'm tired and have class in the morning, so I'm going to go to bed now. Before I do, however...

How are you all?